Now that the Oscars have come and gone, I have a confession to make: I miss Joan Rivers.
You know what I mean. Her red carpet commentary was as over-the-top as her plastic surgery but she said what we were all thinking and she was totally hilarious about it.
That got me to thinking about all those horrible fashion label special editions that we’ve seen over the years, so I pulled together three automobiles that I think would top Joan’s list of the worst-dressed cars in the industry:
THE WORST DRESSED
2000 PT Cruiser by Louis Vuitton
I can’t figure this one out either, but I’m pretty sure that someone at Louis Vuitton got FIRED after this one-off car was commissioned for a special event in 2000. The PT Cruiser was a fun, low-priced car for the masses. Louis Vuitton, a high-end fashion boutique for the elite.
The two brands have virtually nothing in common and the end result was about as classy as a knockoff handbag from a Shanghai street vendor. The exterior was painted in a bizarre aquamarine and there were gaudy chrome wheels and a nauseating monogram stripe around the beltline. Even worse was the car’s interior, which featured drab gray leather upholstery with monogram print inserts and mismatched tobacco door pulls.
This car hasn’t been seen since the Louis Vuitton Classic in 2000 and I’m hoping that the Fashion Police have already locked it away for a life sentence with no chance of parole.
1972 AMC Gremlin, Levi’s Edition
In 1972, this match-up made sense on paper. The AMC and Levi’s brands both spoke to middle class America and the rugged denim seemed like it could stand up to years of abuse in an automobile. What no one realized at the time is that brass jean rivets get really, really hot when the car is parked in the sun for a few hours.
The Levi’s Gremlin was the equivalent of a dress that looked great in the fitting room but that turned awkwardly transparent when a photographer’s flash went off on the red carpet. The only thing hotter than those rivets would be Joan’s scornful comments.
1979 Cadillac Seville, Gucci Edition
Even by modern standards, this Caddy’s fashion sense is questionable. The Gucci Seville commanded a hefty $7,000 premium over the standard $15,000 Seville and only 200 were ever built. That’s probably a good thing.
The interior featured a garish Gucci monogram print in canvas over caramel leather. Outside, the car rode on special “GG” wheels and flaunted a custom hood ornament. Unique gold keys and a full set of custom Gucci luggage completed the ensemble.
Even in 1979, I think that Joan Rivers would kick this Caddy to the curb.
THE BEST DRESSED
2006 Lamborghini Murcielago by Versace
Joan gives credit where credit is due and I wanted to give a shout-out to one vehicle ensemble that actually works.
Who is this Lamborghini Murcielago wearing? Versace, of course!
What could be better than the pairing of these two dramatic Italian powerhouses? Lamborghini and Versace are both icons in their respective industries, representing wealth and outrageous style. The car featured a beautiful white exterior with matching two-tone interior. Tasteful Versace logos completed the look and, as expected, the car wore an outrageously expensive price tag.
I think Joan would approve.
